I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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