the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
