Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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