Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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