Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
