Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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