don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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