It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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