I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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