Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
