It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
this hospital has no fireball
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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