found the other keg... it's in the tree
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
