Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
