I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
