Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
