I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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