I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
