new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
it's like heaven, but drunker
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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