Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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