Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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