i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
