For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
