I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
