hell yes lets make some ravioli
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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