Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
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