But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
