Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
