Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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