first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
