Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
