you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Randomize
