so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
why do cheetos always look like penises
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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