This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
NoShamevember. You game?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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