your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
