I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
