When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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