i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
