i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
