I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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