I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
