Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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