no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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