All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
