I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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