Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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