Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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