Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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