Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
there is glitter all over my balls
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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