Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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