His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
